so difficult

So many times today I thought of you
I wanted to show you what was happening
What I saw,
What I do.
But I promised I wouldn't call.
I wont call.
The hardest thing I've ever NOT DONE!
To see your name,
the lyrics you choose.
To know I wont respond, not yet
My body/soul/mind is
SCREAMING
hold hold hold
A phone
a few numbers
But you would have the strength to not pick up.
I know
And I must be stronger than you right now.
So you will know
I can
I will love you.
I do
I do love you
FFS this is driving me crazy, I just want to hear your fucking voice!
CALL ME!!!!!!

Moving On!

Well, I move house today, leaving here to move back in with my mum. Going to be a lot of hard work but hopefully will turn out well in the end. Not sure how soon I will be able to get back on line properly. At the moment I don't even have a bedroom of my own, let alone somewhere to set up my computer, but I'll be working on it and should at least be able to get on line from my mums computer now and then (although I really need to dedicate some time to sorting out the rooms etc so I CAN have a bedroom!)
See some of you Mojo people in Birmingham on Saturday-I will post about that when I get back and get access to my computer!
And to the person I love (you know who you are, and you don't even read this so I'm mad talking to myself lol) wild horses wont stop me from speaking to you everyday! x

Back soon!
And for anyone who hasn't seen my latest vid-the first collaboration I have done on my channel, the video child of me and johnreagan, here is 'Moving On. . . FAST!) guest starring Johnreagans really cool friend, Vito :)

Your Voice

Rips the membrane of my heart,
Soothes the discord in my soul,
Invades the world I hide,
Reaches parts that I withhold.
Your Voice
Touches Me,
I feel the caress progress
Slowly up my thigh,
I feel you penetrate
My defences,
One touch that makes me laugh or cry.
I'll hold your gaze.
You see?
Look closer,
Feel Me.

M

Bare feet treading slowly,
Firmly in the embers.
Why do the soles not burn?
Where am I now?
Which way is up?
My senses refuse to corroberate,
Will illusion fade to reveal
The real?
The Tangeble?
I reach out, naked and vulnerable,
I beseech you to take my hand,
Complete the bridge of faith.
Find solid ground together,
not struggle through this maze alone.
I feel you near.