so difficult

So many times today I thought of you
I wanted to show you what was happening
What I saw,
What I do.
But I promised I wouldn't call.
I wont call.
The hardest thing I've ever NOT DONE!
To see your name,
the lyrics you choose.
To know I wont respond, not yet
My body/soul/mind is
SCREAMING
hold hold hold
A phone
a few numbers
But you would have the strength to not pick up.
I know
And I must be stronger than you right now.
So you will know
I can
I will love you.
I do
I do love you
FFS this is driving me crazy, I just want to hear your fucking voice!
CALL ME!!!!!!