lalala
Oh well, back to the mundane-ness of my usual mood! I've got to get the house cleaned up for a house inspection by the landlord in a few weeks. Unfortunately as I have been putting every difficult job/boring job off for so long and just getting on with the essential keeping the kids and myself alive stuff-the house really is in a mess. The carpets are filthy, the walls are even dirty from kids wiping their hands along them when they go upstairs. Everywhere I look I see mess (plus everywhere looks tatty and needs decorating!) I impulsively went and bought stuff to re-decorate the front room, but it's taken me days to prepare the wall and hang the wall paper (and paint the wood) and I couldn't afford it anyway-and now the worst bit is the carpet, that is soaked in soot that came out the chimney when bird got stuck up there a while ago. Everywhere I look is filth! And it's all so overwhelming :(
I keep avoiding the immensity of it by going on the internet/doing anything other than just get on with the work, which is not good.
I'm pretty certain that I have depression, but I don't trust the doctors, and I'm pretty certain I am an alcoholic, but maybe I just drink too much to escape the depression (yes, I know that doesn't work)
Bit of a pathetic string of excuses and complaints I have going on here! I should just DO something about it, why the hell is that so hard? I'm so annoyed with myself!
I keep avoiding the immensity of it by going on the internet/doing anything other than just get on with the work, which is not good.
I'm pretty certain that I have depression, but I don't trust the doctors, and I'm pretty certain I am an alcoholic, but maybe I just drink too much to escape the depression (yes, I know that doesn't work)
Bit of a pathetic string of excuses and complaints I have going on here! I should just DO something about it, why the hell is that so hard? I'm so annoyed with myself!
posted by samsarajade at 6:29 AM
3 Comments:
We had a new carpet fitted earlier this year . You know how it is , no shoes , no food , kids have to drink in the kitchen , etc etc . Until , one evening , quite a way into a work avoidance drinking session , I spilt my pint of port & brandy all over said brand new carpet . Cream carpet . Do you think anyone noticed ? Possibly not just the drink . But also the pound or so of salt that I thought would get rid of said stain ..... Bad idea apparently ..
Anyhow , being an alcoholic depressive myself , I think I can say , with some certainty , that it ain't really a bad thing . As long as no-one else is in the room ....
Take care Tia ..
Everything I've Got in My Pocket
Minne Driver.
I want to lay down with you forever
Or just this afternoon
Watching the shadows getting long
I'll sing you a quiet song
Watch you sleep so slow and deep
Baby I know that all your pain will pass
I know you're sad, but it won't last
I'm betting you everything that I've got in my pocket
When you're staring out into the sky
See what you have
And don't ask why
Things can't be different, they're perfect
Want to remind you how you laugh
Sometimes you don't even make a sound
Till you fall down on the ground
I'm going to love you every day
Maybe it'll balance out the pain
That I can't take away
Baby I know that all your pain will pass
I know you're sad, but it won't last
I'm betting you everything that I've got in my pocket
when you're staring out into the sky
See what you have, and don't ask why
Things can't be different
They're perfect
So come on and lay down with me
I'll tell you all the useless things
That I have learned
But this one good thing my old man told me
Baby I know that all your pain will pass
I know you're sad, but it won't last
I'm betting you everything that I've got in my pocket
when you're staring out into the sky
See what you have, and don't ask why
Things can't be different
They're perfect
Don't be. Self medication is perfectly normal. Especially when being a parent. Don't be too hard on yourself. Others are secretely indulging themselves. We all have our skeletons.
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